To my dear son on your 1st birthday

To my dear son, the beautiful boy who made me a mother. Today you are one.

ONE: A whole 365 days. I just can't get over those words. Every time I think about it I get mixed emotions, maybe because I don't want you to grow up so fast but also because it's been such a rollercoaster of a year. Those emotions are mostly happy, joyful tears, but a little sad, too. Motherhood changed my heart in ways I never saw coming.

I have already wished you Happy Birthday about 30 times since you woke up, and you still don’t know what on earth I’m talking about! I think the banana and bottle I gave you this morning gave you more excitement! You’ll learn in a year or two that it will be Superhero or Paw Patrol parties with your little friends.

I can’t help but remember this beautiful day a year ago. You were born Monday evening at 5:20pm, which was one week before your due date. I had arrived at the hospital at 7:30am, had an epidural at 8:30 am, and had spent the whole day hanging out with your dad and bouncing on a ball. When the time finally came, you were eager to enter this world and within 20 minutes you were in my arms! You still have that determined nature about you!

You clung to me as soon as you were put on my bare chest. You had a soft cry but my heartbeat quieted you. You knew that I was your mother, your comforter, and that you were in good hands. I have never felt more love and peace than when I met you!

This first year of being your mom has been the best wild, fun, exhausting and learning adventure. I have learned more about myself than I ever thought possible. You have changed our little family forever with your mere existence.

This first year of your life has been a remarkable year of milestones! You started to walk just over a week ago, and are still putting wobbly steps together. Each time you fall again on your bottom, you seem calm, unfazed and so wise somehow. You climb to the top of the stairs every day, several times a day, like you’ve just accomplished climbing a mountain. The first thing you do in the morning when you wake up is say ‘lights’ and point up to the lights… and then again and again throughout the day. You love to ‘pound it’, wave at every stranger and friend, blow kisses, give kisses (in which you bite my lips), give hugs, and clap your hands. Your big bright blue eyes draw everyone in and they just can’t get enough of you! You definitely have your way with people! I have yet to find a food that you don’t like… not even pickles or olives. You love your bath time and swimming in the pool. Dad and I took your on your first big kid waterslide this weekend and you had the biggest eyes and were thrilled. Your little giggle is contagious! If you’re laughing, it is inevitable that I am laughing along with you! Music is your second language; you are bouncing up and down when dad plays the guitar and try to play the piano every chance that you get. You love to be on the move, never standing or sitting still. My cupboard doors are always open with Tupperware, cards, tea, and everything else in sight on the floor. The pantry is like your own ‘man cave’ – you spend hours in there opening and closing the door, pulling things off the shelves, and creating a tornado! I could go on and on about all the amazing things about you!

There’s so much untapped potential inside you, waiting to spring into life. You will discover lots in the next months and years, and others will wait five decades to be realized. This is the beautiful mystery of life and learning. Be brave and never give up! I’ll be your number one cheerleader in life!

You definitely have your priorities in order and know what you need. Love, hugs, quality time and space by yourself to explore. Food, water, sleep. Time spent outdoors with your feet and hands on the earth, and your skin kissed by the sun. Walks by the lake, or jumping right on in. Songs, music, and stories. More hugs.

Darling boy of mine, thank you for this first year. Thank you for teaching me and being patient with me. Thank you for your unconditional love, and your sloppy kisses.

I’ll love you forever, and beyond.

Your Mom xoxo

Here are some of my favourite photos from this past year <3