Some of you have asked "why"and I hope to help you understand from my perspective!
I have to be honest, because I don't know how to be any other way, this is going to be a big hard scary thing. Surrogacy, pregnancy, motherhood, work, student-hood, my new normal day to day, ... If you think I am all rainbows and unicorns over here you are very misinformed. I use humour to lighten the mood and carry me through tough situations, but I can get to the deep really fast if you want to go there with me. Just try me... I say bring your deepest darkest scariest fears, or secrets and we will get right into it, because thats the place I live best. I like vulnerable, and as my fave Dr. Brene Brown's (and I'd say one of my BFF's she just doesn't know it yet!) therapist says, it is an exquisite emotion. Oh and it is, its where life changes and relationships are formed, deepened and attachment is solidified. I dare you to join me, and embrace the deep of who you are. Lets see what happens in our world!
I will live here in vulnerability until my dying day, It allows me to live fully, love well and laugh without taking life to seriously. I know what is important, what I want to fight for, and the example I want to be to my precious people. I will walk into hard and big and scary because that is where we will be refined, grow, and get to finally step into who we've always been. I have lived most of my 37 years striving. I'm not totally sure for what, I guess any and everything that seemed like the "right" thing. But what was the right thing... I didn't know, until everything that seemed right really wasn't.
So now I pick up one thing at a time and ask myself, "Is this right?" One thing at a time, no matter the outside influence, or what I've done in the past, or how it looks, or who thinks what, or has an opinion. When I can shut off all the noise and quit believing lies, and listen to the one who created me, and blessed me with my mind, my heart, my soul, and my body (including my uterus). What did he say? He said "Trust me to give you what you need to carry out this task." He said "Build community in a place where people don't know what community really feels like," "Show your true self even when its the hardest thing, and will require more than you've given before," "Sacrifice for others you love, be Jesus in a world that can't seem to find him." This is the right thing!
So I will do the right thing, the best thing, and yes the hard thing, and I'll keep leaning into my Saviour, when its hard, and because its hard!
I'll leave you with this question what thing really worth doing wasn't hard?
Blessings to you!
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