One year ago, today

Today I’m filled with every emotion in the alphabet.

One year ago today I got Strep A, which hit me like lightening. I went in to septic shock and the many doctors had to race the clock to save my life. Today was the day of surgery. My uterus was removed but luckily they were able to save my ovaries. The recovery seemed long and I faced a lot of setbacks along the way. The doctors told me, after the fact that they didn’t think that I was going to leave that hospital and here I am today. They also told me I would never be able to do sports or activities again because my heart was so bad and within 1.5 months, I was approved to resume all activity. This all just seems like a dream, like it didn’t even happen… until I look down and see my war wound. That reminds me everyday how grateful I am to be here today.

Today seems exceptionally hard thinking back to this day last year. Looking at this photo is really hard for me as I don’t look like myself, I don’t even remember being in that coma, and I don’t like seeing myself weak and suffering. Right now I feel happy, healthy, and strong… it just seems so surreal, still. I am still in awe how both Craig and my families pulled together and were by our side though everything. You know you are truly blessed when your family drops everything, and I mean everything, to be with you for several days, weeks, some even months. Family truly is the greatest gift.

I go from one extremely of pain, hurt, and sadness to the other extreme of excitement, hope, and love. I feel like I may have lost an organ but I get to play with my son every single day and sleep in the same bed as my husband every single night. Don’t get me wrong; I totally still am overcome with sadness from time to time with the loss of my uterus and not being able to carry another child. I have dreamed about have lots of kids my whole life, watching them grow up in sports, and being that crazy excited mother watching them. I just know I am so blessed to be able to have a second chance, and have someone else carry that precious babe for us so that I can love them unconditionally too.

As we fast-forward one year, a lot has happened. I have regained all my health and strength, we have been having the most incredible time watching our son grow up, we have found such a kind and loving surrogate, we were able to fertilized 18 eggs, and now tomorrow we have implantation day! I have this peace over me, that everything is okay and that He has it. We are praying that everything progresses as planned and goes smoothly. Thank you for all your love and support this last year.

Chantelle